Well i can't say i am off to a flying start, but i have learnt my first important lesson:
applying makeup as your baby screams beside you leads to wonky lip liner, mismatched eye shadow and generally half-arsed application of everything.
Also, my makeup seems to be curling up and hiding from me in fear, or is it just shrivelling with age just like my skin? I also am wearing dirty old ripped jeans and a saggy grey bra.
All this looking in the mirror is making me very nostalgic. I am not too modest to admit that i used to have absolutely fantastic tits. At least i can take comfort in that i really made the most of them by flashing on a regular basis, but those carefree days are sadly gone. Since they now need to be more modestly housed i am determined to upgrade their accomodation. I have cleavage and i'm not afraid to use it. First job of said cleavage is to distract my husband from the bank balance...